My life is a revolving door of routine.

At 8:15am, my alarm clock whispers sweet nothings into my ear to remind me that I have to make a living. I slowly pull off my eye mask and the sun stings my retinas as I try to get my body to realize that it is time for me to start the day. Shortly thereafter, I stop my alarm with my fingerprint, roll of out bed and rush to the bathroom.

As I walk out the bathroom, I wonder if I've lost any weight from the day before as I'm currently on a healthy lifestyle change. I hesitantly stand on the scale and wait for my answer. Either the scale says that I've gained weight or I've lost. It's just that uneventful but it can set the precedent for the rest of my morning.

For breakfast, I tend to eat eggs, cereal, or a smoothie. This particular morning, just oatmeal and a hot coffee with soy creamer. I go to my little corner and eat my food while checking my social media and thinking about what I need to do at work. Sometimes I think about my dreams or ideas that I'd like to act on. Anything that wake my brain up. At this point, it's 8:43pm and I'm nowhere near awake.

But what does? Makeup. You cannot paint your face brain dead. You're just asking to look like Mimi Bobeck. It's true. A little mascara, eyeliner. Fill in those brows. And to bring my head together: two side swoops and a high ponytail. Earrings are usually the ones I wore before. I finish my look off with Chapstick.

I throw on the nearest dress because matching two items of clothing can be hard (or it's just pure laziness). I put on my slip-on shoes and think about how this makes me look weird, but I'm fine with it. I like weird. I grab my bright green-bowed purse, throw it over my shoulder. Slide on my glasses, grab my keys from the bowl by the door and start to head out.

You guessed it, my brain is finally warmed up and I remember my lunch. I go to the fridge, grab my selection for the day and run to the train.

This is my morning.

I could go into the rest of my boring, hamster-wheel day. But the fact of the matter is...

For a 24-year old woman living in one of the greatest cities on this planet, I'm actually extremely boring. Why? I'm so fixated on my success that I forget to do the most vital thing to my success, live.  We all know those people. They never do anything fun because they want to be successful and reach their goals. In reality, your goals are always there. The goals never go away. If you constantly work, you'll reach the end. The constant is time. Time comes and goes. But it can never be rushed.

I've come to realize that "Impatience" is my middle name. I've always been told that if you work hard enough, everything that you want will be presented to you. I can confirm that to be true. I've never strayed away from hard work and never found it intimidating. Challenges are just opportunities. I invite the learning process from each experience I have. My challenges and opportunities for growth aren't coming fast enough... Why? Because the constant is time. Time comes and goes. But it can never be rushed.
With all this being said, I'm making it my point to LIVE! And yes, living cost money. And I don't have money. But the beauty of my situation is that I have my transportation paid for. All I need it to seek out the fun. And that brings me to my blog post, Ninety Days of Summer.

For the next 90 days, I'm going to document myself enjoying my summer in the city. It will be kind of a photo collage. I'll highlight my favorite moments and what they meant for me. As much as I'm excited to share my life you guys, I think it will be therapeutic for me. Feel free to follow and even share photos with me. I'm ready for this wild ride.

Yesterday, I ended up having brunch with my old boss from college. Her name is Julie and she was the absolute best. This coffee junkie, shoe addict couldn't have been a better role model for adulting. She was one of the best. Anything she did, she did with stilettos. High heels mean business. And she meant it. And she still did. I worked with her at Michigan State in the Department of Romance Languages and adored every moment. 

"One and two and three and four. Five, six, seven and eight and..."

This past weekend, I decided to take a hip hop class and those steps rang in my ears like Top 40s hit song. Not because it was catchy, but he missed some "and's". Did you catch that?

"One and two and three and four and five and six and seven and eight and..."

There were changes that I wasn't prepared for. I was a dancer growing up. I did three years of ballet, seven years of tap, a year of jazz, and some theatre dancing here and there. But with hip hop, it's subjective. My instructor didn't feel the need to add the "and". And after I while, I didn't seem to mind. Change has never phased me because I know it's how life goes.

Like dance class, change can come easy. But the most important moments in life are when you go through a metamorphosis. I know I'm in the process when I lay in bed and listen to 311's Greatest Hits '93–'03. I can remember every single moment I listened to that album on repeat. I first listened to it before I knew my parents were getting a divorce. I listened to it before I realized that I would find my first love. In grad school, Flowing touched my soul before I made the decision to move to New York City.

It's a funky place to be because you know something is happening, but you don't know what. The wheels are turning, but you're stuck. You feel the most hopeful and the most empty. To make matters worse, it can be the most grueling because there are people around you that test you and your limits. What are you willing to take and how far are you willing to go? During metamorphosis, you don't exactly have a choice: you just go along with it. Because if you don't, it prolongs the process, and it can become more painful than it needs to be.

With any metamorphosis, you'll have naysayers. Whether blunt or passive, they will come along and steal the little bit of joy that you've scrounged up along the way. It can be as small as a sly comment or as big as someone stealing your time to shine. Do you know how frustrating that can be? People will go as far as to bring it to your attention consistently. Newsflash! The "success" they brag about is null. What are you going to do about it? Some say revenge is a dish best served cold. I say, revenge is a dish best served by life. And life run it's course.

Have you looked in the mirror lately? I have. In the mirror is a reflection of who you are in that moment. Take that in, because once that moment leaves, you'll never get it back. Now think about those naysayers. What do they really have going for them? Insecurities. That's all. They look at you and they see something they wish they had. The power of the metamorphosis, I've learned, is like no other. The best part? You come out a new person. The people who should be there will be there and life serves those haters a hot plate of karma with a capital "K".

And I'll continue to do my body rolls and my hip locks: flawless and on beat.

"One and two and three and four. Five, six, seven and eight and..."

I've never been into online dating. That could be because I was in a long-term relationship for 4+ years, or because I just never saw the point of online dating. Online dating was never a mystery to me. Throughout college, if it wasn't Tinder, it was OKCupid. If it wasn't OKCupid, it would be Bumble. Never falling in line, I refused to download. But something interesting happened: I moved to New York City, and changed my tune real quick. Meeting men in the city is hard for me. Not only because I'm shy, but because for every man, there are three women. 1:3. Think about that for a second. For a man, this is a Players Paradise. But for a woman, it's the Hunger Games and you hope your district wins.

There are pros and cons of why online dating is either good or bad, but the overall impression that I get from online dating isn't very positive. Here's why...

1.) It's a time waster.

2.) Connections can fall flat at the drop of a hat.

3.) It kills the spark.


Why do I waste so much time?! From swiping right to swiping right, do you know how many hours I use a day to show someone, "Hey! I'm attractive, you're attractive. Let chat it up?" According to my phone, in the last 24 hours, my phone has been using Tinder 10% of the time. That's 2.4 hours of my life gone. I could have been doing something productive with my life. I could have worked on my storyboards for my imaginary music videos. Or... I could have been looking at ways to update my resume so it screams "Professional" and not "I-Just-Graduated-From-College-Please-Hire-Me-Now!" Or... I could have at least cleaned up my room. It's a mess. There is an old pizza box on my couch!

For a moment in time, my time is not wasted and when I reach out first, a guy will respond. I get all excited and do the "You-So-Flawless Dance". The conversation is going great. We're talking about what I do and where I went to school. Maybe dive into some of my hobbies and dreams, aspirations. Emilio and I, yes Emilio, can be talking for a good amount of time and then all of a sudden, he disappears. Like... really? I just told you that my favorite color is green and I cry when "All-Star" by Smash Mouth comes on... And you stop talking me?? Adding insult to injury by following my Instagram???

#ICant

Then you message me at 2 AM saying, "Hey there. *insert heart-eyed emoji here*" Good-bye Emilio. Farewell foul swine.

This is why sometimes I hate technology. I'm convinced that these dating apps have killed "The Spark". Remember when you were in the 4th grade and you finally notice Maurice, yes Maurice. He was in your class, you did group projects together and played tag during recess. But that moment when he came to your desk and asked you to help with his long division, you really took a long look and you knew that you liked him. When is the last time any of us felt like that? Among my friends, I rarely hear a story like that. It's always I'm talking to Pedro, Ryan, Marcus, Abhan, Nickolas, and Fredrickson on Bumble. Come on people... Is this real life? Yes, this is real.

Online dating is the bane of my existence as I swipe right on Charlie and left on Howie. This is the reality of New York City: meeting people is hard. If you meet someone in person, it's a pleasant surprise. If the attraction is mutual, it's exciting. If the smarts match up, it's incredible. And if you compliment each other, that's a winner. But I don't expect much; I'll just hang out behind the screen for a little while longer.

If you've ever wondered what it's like to be a redhead, I have to say it's one of the most beautiful things about me. It's something that people damaged their hair over and over again to get. If you've ever wondered what it's like to have freckles, I'd say that it's great to cover up small breakouts and it I'm bored, I can find the backwards number two on my lower left cheek. If you've ever wondered what it's like to be a black ginger, I'd tell you that it has to be one of the most confusing things about me because we're so rare. But we're not unicorns.

I came to terms a long time ago that I was different than most kids, but the Huffington Post article about MC1R in people of color reawakened my thoughts about things that I tried to come to terms with long ago.

A.) That I am a beautiful human being. I was not meant to look like everyone else. I am unique in my own right. Red hair, freckles and everything that makes a ginger can or will be envied. I should never compromise who I am or what I look like to fit into societies mold.

B.) People will not understand why I look the way that I look. The assumption is that I have a white parent or that I'm mixed with 50% something else. Why does even matter? I'm just a human being with the same blood that's running through your veins. I won't be accepted by the people I call my own and I have to fight to find my place. And even if they truly understand where I am from, they will make up stories just so they can feel comfortable about the role I play in their life.

Even with all of that, I love who I am. #TeamGinger

After a long hiatus, I know you've been wondering where I've been. To be honest, I've been around, just not blogging. As a lot of you know, I moved to NYC in January 2015, so not too long ago. I'm in month 8 and I could not be happier.

I have a really bad habit of letting things get to me. When one thing goes wrong, my life crashes down. The first year in NYC is the hardest but I haven't given up yet. Lately, things started to look up when I got the following email about two weeks ago.

Yes, my friends. I got my very first position within the entertainment industry! Yes... I'm an assistant. But I'm really excited to say that this is a stepping stone toward better things. I even put a nice speech on Facebook.

"ENFJs define their self-esteem by whether they are able to live up to their ideals, and sometimes ask for criticism more out of insecurity than out of confidence, always wondering what they could do better. If they fail to meet a goal or to help someone they said they'd help, their self-confidence will undoubtedly plummet." - 16Personalities

That 5K I was training for? That was a lost cause. Nothing will come out of that.