Why Online Dating Is the Bane of My Existence

I've never been into online dating. That could be because I was in a long-term relationship for 4+ years, or because I just never saw the point of online dating. Online dating was never a mystery to me. Throughout college, if it wasn't Tinder, it was OKCupid. If it wasn't OKCupid, it would be Bumble. Never falling in line, I refused to download. But something interesting happened: I moved to New York City, and changed my tune real quick. Meeting men in the city is hard for me. Not only because I'm shy, but because for every man, there are three women. 1:3. Think about that for a second. For a man, this is a Players Paradise. But for a woman, it's the Hunger Games and you hope your district wins.

There are pros and cons of why online dating is either good or bad, but the overall impression that I get from online dating isn't very positive. Here's why...

1.) It's a time waster.

2.) Connections can fall flat at the drop of a hat.

3.) It kills the spark.


Why do I waste so much time?! From swiping right to swiping right, do you know how many hours I use a day to show someone, "Hey! I'm attractive, you're attractive. Let chat it up?" According to my phone, in the last 24 hours, my phone has been using Tinder 10% of the time. That's 2.4 hours of my life gone. I could have been doing something productive with my life. I could have worked on my storyboards for my imaginary music videos. Or... I could have been looking at ways to update my resume so it screams "Professional" and not "I-Just-Graduated-From-College-Please-Hire-Me-Now!" Or... I could have at least cleaned up my room. It's a mess. There is an old pizza box on my couch!

For a moment in time, my time is not wasted and when I reach out first, a guy will respond. I get all excited and do the "You-So-Flawless Dance". The conversation is going great. We're talking about what I do and where I went to school. Maybe dive into some of my hobbies and dreams, aspirations. Emilio and I, yes Emilio, can be talking for a good amount of time and then all of a sudden, he disappears. Like... really? I just told you that my favorite color is green and I cry when "All-Star" by Smash Mouth comes on... And you stop talking me?? Adding insult to injury by following my Instagram???

#ICant

Then you message me at 2 AM saying, "Hey there. *insert heart-eyed emoji here*" Good-bye Emilio. Farewell foul swine.

This is why sometimes I hate technology. I'm convinced that these dating apps have killed "The Spark". Remember when you were in the 4th grade and you finally notice Maurice, yes Maurice. He was in your class, you did group projects together and played tag during recess. But that moment when he came to your desk and asked you to help with his long division, you really took a long look and you knew that you liked him. When is the last time any of us felt like that? Among my friends, I rarely hear a story like that. It's always I'm talking to Pedro, Ryan, Marcus, Abhan, Nickolas, and Fredrickson on Bumble. Come on people... Is this real life? Yes, this is real.

Online dating is the bane of my existence as I swipe right on Charlie and left on Howie. This is the reality of New York City: meeting people is hard. If you meet someone in person, it's a pleasant surprise. If the attraction is mutual, it's exciting. If the smarts match up, it's incredible. And if you compliment each other, that's a winner. But I don't expect much; I'll just hang out behind the screen for a little while longer.